New Year, New Me!

Yeah right! As if! 

 I have absolutely no reason to think of, or gain anything from, a New Year’s resolution. How have people got time for this? I have enough going on in this wacky little brain of mine without having to add more pressure. I suppose in a way it gives you something to focus on, something  to push towards, in order to reach any goals you have set. I suppose we all have goals, or we all should have goals, its whether  you want to aim for them and succeed or maybe give up just after starting. 

This year has been a tough year, to say the least, but I think in some cases every year can be tough. Sometimes its hard not to dwell on events that happened during the year, but other times it  can be easy for them to be “put to the back of my mind”. This Christmas, since writing my last post,  I think what happened this year has finally sunk in. I have been quite distant in some areas, and haven’t  spoken often enough about it, but going to dinner at my brothers the other day, I found I kept leading the conversation back to my Dad, I then realised that I did have some memories of him that obviously would never leave me. 

We had little big mans birthday then 15 days later,
 little little man arrived.

In the new year I will be making sure, like this year, I spend more time with my family and my children. Working all hours, before my baby was born, left me with no time whatsoever for my personal life, but I had so much more life outside of my work. Since having my baby I have had plenty of time  to spend with my family and now realise it would be so difficult to return to work. I need to watch my children grow up, although we may not be able to buy much materialistically, time is so precious. 

In 2019 we will have 2 new arrivals, as my sister and sister-in-law are both expecting, I am super excited, that means Dad would have been Grampy to 18! I am hoping to spend more time with all my nieces and nephews as well because that had petered out over the years from my working too much.

I have already done something massive this year, after wondering for 6 months if I should take the plunge and get  cracking with this blogging I did actually start. I then had to ‘jump on the bandwagon’ and try to get to grips with all the social media that has been at its  peak over the last few years. I have only been doing this for a few weeks, but blogging has become my therapy to get things off my mind, it seems to be working at the moment and it’s cheap too! I have already noticed such a difference in what I have done and how I have presented myself, numerous random people have seen me with no make up on and my hair flopped over in a heap of grease because I have just woken up from my slumber. You should think yourself lucky guys !

Spent time with nieces and cousins, 
spent as much time with my dad.

I have also learnt that not everyone is against you, since doing this I have had school friends from 10 years ago message me, people who I thought didn’t like me have messaged me asking if I'm okay! How incredible is that, knowing people that you haven’t spoken to for years and even people you have never met are  making sure you’re okay. There is always someone thinking of you, if you’re feeling alone and feel like no one gives a hoot, you must believe that someone somewhere loves you. I am thankful for social media in this sense, its easy to reach out to people, as I have, random people who, although I don’t know them personally, have the same interests as me, I have messaged them after research and they reply.

This New Year’s Eve is, for me, more of a time to reflect on 2018 and what it has bought me i.e. tears, tantrums and laughter. Having my baby and nearly dying on the table after delivery. My dad passing away. The realisation that people do actually care about you, but just find it very difficult at times to show it and make it known. 

I do know, in the New Year, I probably wont eat any differently  to what I do now or even start exercising, as I have never done that, although I enjoy dancing around the house during the day and this, together with walking up and down the hill to school 4 times a day, seems to be helping me stay fit anyway, so nothing needs to change there. My legs will always stay hairy, until summer begins and I realise something needs to be done before I can start wearing my shorts.

I also need to learn to accept myself for who I am, the flabby bits of my body that grew my beautiful babies are okay. Nobody is perfect and if you think you are then I take my hat off to you, I wish I had your confidence. 

My baby sister graduated, we went to the zoo.
 We slept for hours and cuddled for days. 
Met new friends at a 'Lipcoate event' in London, 
it was epic! Got super drunk on prosecco.

Also, it’s okay to cry.

I need to learn, as probabaly my partner also does,  that we need to appreciate each other and understand each other better, neither of us should ‘rule the roost’ it should be a joint effort  and we should make time for each other instead of spending most of our time being on our phones. Ahem, nudge nudge, wink wink. We are both parents to these beautiful children and we are a team. Even after 3 years we are still learning how to do it and if anything causes an upset we should discuss it and not take it out on each other, it’s difficult but if we can learn by our mistakes then life will get easier. Bloody adults are worse than children at times! 

So at the beginning I said no New Year’s  resolutions and, after writing this straight from my cranium, I have realised I probably do have a couple of things that I need to try to stick to and learn. 

I have never reflected before on the passing year, they normally just skip from one to the other in the blink of an eye. I have made time to reflect on this one. 

I would love to know what you have learnt or reflected on from this year. I also hope your new year is amazing and you reach your goals, if any, or stick with any resolutions that you have set yourself. 

A Happy New Year to you all.

Love me x